From Manager to Mentor: Coaching Skills Every Leader Needs

What if your greatest impact as a leader isn’t in directing others — but in coaching them? In this episode, we'll explore how leaders can embrace coaching competencies to build trust, create awareness, and foster real growth within their teams. From active listening to facilitating development, you'll gain practical tools to engage your team more deeply and help them thrive.

Connect with host Jill Fowler on LinkedIn.

This episode was brought to you by Songbird Leadership -- Amplify your organization's mission through outcome-based executive coaching, strategic planning, and capacity building.

Transcript

Thank you for joining us today. I’m your host, Jill Fowler of Songbird Leadership. 

Close your eyes (if you’re not driving) and think of an impactful leader you’ve encountered in your life who was supportive, who helped you see things a little differently, who allowed you to make progress in your own way using your own talents, experience, and knowledge. They respected your style, even if it was different from theirs. It could be anyone – a boss, a coworker, the captain of your kickball team, a community member, a friend. Think of how they made you feel when you were with them. What was their impact on your life? Chances are, they made you feel both safe and uncomfortable at the same time, which means they supported you as you grew. This leader was coaching you.

Many leaders think they're coaching when they're actually just telling others what to do. This behavior more resembles that of a consultant than a coach and will only serve to limit the vision of what is possible. A true coach will allow their team to arrive at their own solution while recognizing their strengths, empathetically supporting them, and holding them accountable. You’ve heard me say it before – there’s no one right way. And a leader who acknowledges this and allows their team members to chart their own course are furthering their development ten-fold. 

The International Coaching Federation offers several core competencies of coaching, many of which are easily transferrable to you in your leadership role. Let's explore a few that you can easily add to your toolkit today in an effort to better engage your team.

The first is active listening. Are you fully present and engaged when interacting with your team? Or are you distracted, mentally focused on the myriad of other things on your plate? People know when you're listening and open to receiving their message. It provides a morale boost, builds trust, and creates a culture of collaboration.  

Here are a few tips to not only show your team you’re listening, but to actually listen. First, make eye contact. Now, there can be generational and cultural norms around eye contact that should be respected. And I’m not asking you to stare at the person like a psychopath. But eye contact is a telling way for someone to know they have your full attention. 

Also, don’t interrupt. Allow the other person to fully share what’s on their mind. I have a bad habit of talking over people when I’m really excited about something. Everyone in my family communicates like this and we understand as a group, but it’s considered rude out in the world. I have made great effort to curb this habit, but it still happens from time to time. If you do happen to interrupt, simply apologize and ask the person to continue. 

You can, however, use verbal cues to confirm your understanding of their message. A genuine “mmm-hmmm” or “ah” or even a “yes!” can be helpful. You can also ask for clarification, such as, “If I’m hearing you right, you think we should wait to launch until the fourth quarter, correct?” 

You can also use nonverbal responses, such as head nods and appropriate facial expressions. My personal favorite is having an open posture. Don’t cross your arms or legs during the conversation and you’ll appear welcoming and ready to receive. This is a hard one for me because I’m physically more comfortable with my arms crossed, but I realize it makes me look closed off. I have to consciously do a quick self-scan from time to time to make sure I don’t have anything crossed. And this is a good way for you to gauge how well your message is being received, too. Body language is fascinating. All of these things show others that you are actively listening to them, you’re interested in their message, and you wish to engage. It takes practice, so try these out on someone today. 

Our next coaching core competency is cultivating trust. There are many ways this can be done, such as showing empathy, transparency, accountability, and confidentiality. The key is to be authentically you and use the methods that will allow you to do so. Demonstrate to your team that you are trustworthy and offer a safe space, not only during times of significance, but on a daily basis through small acts. Be kind when someone is having a rough time. Practice openness and own your mistakes. If someone tells you something in confidence, take it to the grave (as long as it’s not a whistleblowing situation). Consistency is key in the trust department.

Start by showing some appropriate vulnerability. This looks different for each person, but in general, take an interest in their life and offer a glimpse of yours. A simple, “Any big plans this weekend?” can lead to a deeper relationship. Ask how your team member’s sick dog is doing. Share the highlight reel from your family vacation. Participate in the water cooler conversations. You’ll all become more human to one another and, over time, invested in each other’s success.

Another coaching core competency is creating awareness. Some folks view themselves and their behavior differently from how they are received. For instance, your team member may think they are a stellar communicator, while your experience with them strongly differs. As a coach, you can help others identify areas for improvement they may have never considered before. Creating awareness of how others experience and interpret their behavior can be both enlightening and game-changing, for it allows them to leverage their gifts and move forward with enlightenment. 

It's important to handle opportunities for increasing a team member’s self-awareness with care and grace. It’s difficult work. Encourage curiosity and check all egos at the door. Before you delve into this one, I highly recommend mastering the cultivation of trust as we discussed earlier. 

Our final coaching competency is facilitating growth. Developing your team involves more than just taking a class to increase knowledge. It can also include strategic goal setting, creating an atmosphere for career development, or encouraging networking opportunities – all with support and guidance from you. Allow team members to play an active role in the planning for their own development. This will not only create buy-in and boost morale, but it will also provide opportunity for much more creative and dynamic pathways for your team.

By utilizing these coaching competencies, you can more easily identify and harness the unique gifts of your team. This will lead to a happier, more productive group that is capable of taking your organization to the next level.   

Remember the person you thought of at the beginning of this episode? Contact them and tell them about the impact they made in your life. You’ll not only make their day, but you’ll also deepen your own understanding of what great leadership looks and feels like. And who knows? Maybe you’ll even inspire them to keep showing up that way for someone else.

Leadership isn’t about having all the answers, it’s about creating the space for others to discover theirs. And when you lead with a coaching mindset, you become a catalyst for growth, not just for your team, but for yourself as well.