The Nonprofit Leadership Oasis

Easing the Weight of Difficult Decisions

Jill Fowler, Songbird Leadership Season 1 Episode 21

Making difficult decisions is part of the job as a nonprofit leader, but that doesn’t make it any less lonely, stressful, or heavy. In this episode, we dive into what it really feels like to carry the responsibility of big choices that affect your team, your mission, and your community, and share some tools for making those tough decisions a little easier.

At the end of the day, there may not be a perfect answer, but there is a thoughtful, values-aligned path forward. And you don’t have to walk it alone.

Connect with host Jill Fowler on LinkedIn.

This episode was brought to you by Songbird Leadership -- Amplify your organization's mission through outcome-based executive coaching, strategic planning, and capacity building.

Thank you for joining us today. I’m your host, Jill Fowler of Songbird Leadership.

When we were last together, I was planning to take a short, two-week hiatus. Well, two weeks turned into eight months, but that’s the time I needed to create balance with a new opportunity. I’m back now and I plan to continue hosting The Nonprofit Leadership Oasis on a weekly basis moving forward. I have some great guests lined up and I’m excited to share some new topics of conversation. Many thanks to everyone who stuck with me during the break and a warm welcome to all of our new listeners.

Today, I wanted to talk about making difficult decisions. As a nonprofit leader, you have daily decision-making responsibility, but some decisions can be more difficult than others. And it can be lonely and scary and stressful and heavy when it comes to those difficult decisions. Are you doing the right thing? What are the short and long-term effects on your organization? How will the decision impact the livelihoods and morale of your team? Will it impact your or your organization’s reputation with your clients, donors, or community? Will people be mad at you? Oof!! It’s a lot. And a big responsibility. And it can be agonizing.

So, when you’re faced with a difficult decision, how do you proceed to ensure that the “right” decision is made? Well, there’s no one right answer and unfortunately, no crystal ball, but when it comes to tough decisions, there are steps you can take to make the best possible decision with the information and resources you have right now.

First and foremost, trust your gut. Regardless of the decision at hand, chances are, deep down, you know what you should do. I once worked with a leader who, when faced with a difficult decision, would ask himself, “If I were a highly paid consultant and my client asked me what to do in this situation, what would I tell them?” This exercise allowed him to make the decision less personal, remove his emotional connection, and identify the most logical path forward based on his gut instinct. It didn’t take the difficulty out of the decision, but it helped him clarify his direction. I am a huge proponent of the gut. It generally won’t steer you wrong.

Sometimes, though, it can be difficult to hear your gut through all of the surrounding noise of a difficult decision. Another decision-making exercise is to consider the news headline if the media was reporting on your decision. A friend of mine is a leader in a veterans housing organization, and he was at a crossroads about how to proceed with a client who was refusing to follow a certain administrative procedure. According to his organization’s policy, which he created, clients must follow this procedure in order to maintain their housing. His team was vocal that everyone should be expected to follow the procedures, but he believed there were extenuating circumstances to the situation which should enable the client to stay in his home. He didn’t want to evict the client, but he also didn’t want to demoralize his team or negate his organization’s policies. He considered what the headline might be for both scenarios. The headline, “Local veteran who lost housing from XX organization freezes to death without shelter, news at 11,” gave him the greatest pause. In his mind, the potential negative impact on his organization’s reputation in the community was a greater risk than maintaining his team’s morale since it was external and more difficult to control. In the end, he decided to maintain the client’s housing. He also communicated his decision transparently with his team and continued efforts to encourage the man to follow the procedure. In this story, both options held merit, but the consideration of potential headlines helped my friend cut through the noise and lead with his values.

When making decisions about matters of significant impact to your organization that may be controversial or frankly, if you’re worried your decision may result in a lawsuit, I find it helpful to consider how I would feel or respond if I were on the witness stand being cross examined by a talented litigator. Would I be able to confidently and articulately defend myself against the questions and assertions of a bulldog of a lawyer? Would I be comfortable as each of my actions are scrutinized? Would a jury find my actions reasonable? If the answer is yes, you may wish to proceed or continue with your efforts. If the answer is no, you should probably reflect on the specific reasons why and chart a new course accordingly.

Some find it helpful to seek feedback from trusted colleagues or confidants who are not directly involved. Their detachment from the situation can be a real asset. These individuals could be a mentor, a member of your mastermind, or even a friend. Sometimes, it’s helpful to get feedback from someone who has some knowledge or experience of your organization or industry. They’ve been there and they get it! Other times, it can be refreshing to talk with someone who has great leadership skills, but no specific experience in your role. My partner has never worked in an office environment or the nonprofit sector before. However, he is a true resource when out-of-the-box thinking is necessary. He may not have the final resolution, but his feedback generates creativity on my end, which can be immensely helpful. (Shoutout to Tim!) As an aside, whoever you decide to confide in, vent to, or ask for feedback, make sure to respect the confidentiality of your clients at all times.

On Episode 9, I talked about using the 1:3:1 method as a tool for hosting effective meetings. Technically, that concept could also be helpful in decision making. Rather than using it with your team, use it for yourself. First, define your one situation in need of a decision. What outcome are you trying to achieve? Then consider three possible solutions, reflecting on all sides of the situation. Of those three possibilities, which is the best for your team, clients, or organization? Why? Evaluate variables like cost, feasibility, impact, and reputation. And there you go – decision made.    

Finally, and probably most importantly, get clear on your values and your organization’s values. If you haven’t already, identify what is most important to you personally and to your organization. Hopefully, they’re congruent. Ask yourself, will this decision align with these values or pull away from them? You’ll have your answer in short order.

Overall, be kind to yourself and take comfort in the fact that there is no one right answer when faced with a tough decision. Consider your options, contemplate the potential outcomes of each, maybe using one of the tools I discussed today, make your decision, and own it. It’s not always going to be comfortable, but your efforts today will make future difficult decision making situations a little easier.