Become a More Likable Leader

“I just want people to like me.” I hear this from time to time from my executive coaching clients, and it makes sense. When you're a well-liked leader, it's easier to inspire and guide your team toward a common goal. 

A likable leader possesses a unique blend of qualities that endear them to their team. On this episode, we discuss how can you cultivate them to become a more effective and influential leader.

Connect with host Jill Fowler on LinkedIn and Instagram.

This episode was brought to you by Songbird Leadership -- Amplify your organization's mission through outcome-based executive coaching, strategic planning, and capacity building.

Transcript

Thank you for joining us today. I’m your host, Jill Fowler of Songbird Leadership

 “I just want people to like me.” I hear this from time to time from my executive coaching clients, and it makes sense. When you're a well-liked leader, it's easier to inspire and guide your team toward a common goal.  

A likable leader possesses a unique blend of qualities that endear them to their team. So, what are these qualities and how can you cultivate them to become a more effective and influential leader? Let's explore.

One of the cornerstones of likable leadership is empathy, which involves understanding and sharing the feelings of your team members. Empathy goes beyond simply listening to other people; it requires actively putting yourself in their shoes to truly grasp their perspectives and emotions. When you demonstrate empathy, you’re building trust and respect within your team, and fostering an environment where everyone feels seen, heard, and valued. 

By creating this supportive environment, people will feel more safe to express themselves, and you’ll be strengthening your team's bond. This type of atmosphere encourages open communication and collaboration, and team members are more likely to share ideas and concerns without fear of judgment. It also boosts morale and job satisfaction, as people feel more appreciated and understood.

When you possess empathy as a leader, you’re also better equipped to identify and address potential issues before things go off the rails. You can sense when someone is struggling and offer support or resources to help them overcome their challenges. This proactive approach not only helps the person who is struggling, but it also impacts the overall health and productivity of the entire team.

Ultimately, empathetic leadership creates a positive feedback loop. As team members feel more connected and valued, they are likely to be more engaged and motivated, leading to higher performance and a more cohesive team. Win win.

Some people have naturally high levels of empathy, but if it doesn’t come naturally to you, it can be learned. Start with showing a genuine interest in the well-being of your team members. Use active listening skills by not interrupting, giving your full attention, and paying attention to body language and nonverbal cues. Ask open-ended questions to get a better understanding of the other person’s perspective and encourage deeper conversation. And just practice these skills on a day-to-day basis, even if it’s just in casual encounters. Over time, you’ll be reaping the rewards of connecting with your team on a deeper level. 

Approachability is another valuable trait of a likable leader. When team members feel that they can easily approach you with questions, concerns, or ideas, it fosters a culture of openness and trust. Making an effort to be accessible to your team means being available and receptive, both physically and emotionally.

A former boss of mine used to have a table and chairs in his office. Whenever anyone would pop into his office with a question or topic for discussion, he would physically get up from his desk and go to the table to sit with the person and be actively engaged with them. This physical change in space allowed him to be more present and focused on the conversation without the distractions of his desk, but it also made the visitor feel like they had his full attention. It was a really cool and effective practice.

Whether through formal meetings or casual conversations, be open to one-on-one and group interactions. You could have an open-door policy or scheduled “office hours.” You could have regular check-ins with your team. Or, if you’re familiar with the old concept of management by walking around, you could make an effort to be visible and accessible in common areas of your workspace. Whatever method you use, make sure your team knows how they can reach you and then be fully present when they do.

A positive attitude can also really make a difference in your connection with your team. As a leader, your outlook directly affects morale. It's contagious! Stay optimistic, even in challenging times, and motivate your team to overcome any obstacle with a can-do spirit. By inspiring your team in this way, you’re creating a culture of creativity and collaboration where everyone is encouraged to contribute their best ideas and strongest efforts.

Now, I’m not talking about wearing rose-colored glasses or being blind to serious issues. What I’m saying is to be encouraging and positive, especially in the face of adversity. I once said hello to a leader in passing and asked how his day was going. His response was, “Good so far, but there’s still plenty of time for things to go wrong.” He was making a joke, but it was kind of deflating. Nobody likes a Negative Nellie. 

So, how do you show positivity if maybe it’s not your natural outlook or you’re not feeling “up?”  Start by incorporating some positive language into your vocabulary to inspire enthusiasm on a daily basis, such as "Definitely," "Fantastic," or, if you know me, my favorite word, “Awesome!” Be authentic with this and use words that are natural for you. I once worked with a department head who would loudly exclaim, “Out-STANDING!” just like that to celebrate wins. Pick what feels right to you, as long as it’s energy-producing. 

Practicing gratitude, both internally and externally, can also help you become and appear positive. Every day, make a mental – or, even better, a written – list of what you’re grateful for. Publicly acknowledge and thoughtfully appreciate your team’s contributions. Don't underestimate the power of a simple thank you and do so in a way that is meaningful to them personally.   

Accountability is another important trait of a likable leader. Likable leaders take responsibility for their actions and decisions, even when things don't go as planned. When you hold yourself accountable, it sets a powerful example for your team by showing them that you are not above the rules and that you expect the same level of accountability from everyone. In turn, this creates a culture of integrity and transparency, where team members feel confident that their mistakes will be addressed fairly and constructively.

Nobody is perfect, including you, so when you make a mistake, own it. By openly acknowledging your own blunders and taking steps to rectify them, you’re demonstrating both humility and a commitment to continuous improvement. This, in turn, encourages your team members to do the same, leading to a more honest and proactive work environment in which people feel more comfortable taking calculated risks and exploring innovative new ideas. It also creates a sense of trust, as employees see that you are fair, reliable, and committed to the success of your organization.

Accountability in leadership is not just about taking the blame when things go wrong; it's about creating an environment where everyone feels responsible for their actions and committed to the organization’s broader goals. By modeling accountability, you set the standard for your team that ultimately drives deeper commitment and stronger relationships.

A spirit of mentorship is also key to being a likable leader. These leaders are genuinely interested in their team's success and invest in the growth and development of their team members. By adopting a mentorship mindset, you show that you care about the personal and professional advancement of those you lead, fostering a culture of continuous learning and improvement.

When you take on a mentorship role, you provide guidance, support, and encouragement, helping your team members navigate challenges and achieve their goals. This is more than just giving advice; it requires a solid understanding each team member's unique strengths, weaknesses, and aspirations. By tailoring your mentorship approach to meet individual needs, you can better help each person reach their full potential. 

Mentor-focused leadership also allows you to set a precedent for future leadership. By modeling effective mentorship, you not only inspire your team members to take on similar roles when interacting with others, but you are preparing them to step up and lead when needed. This can play into your succession planning efforts and strengthen the sustainability of your organization, which is a nice byproduct.

In essence, embracing a spirit of mentorship as a leader demonstrates a deep commitment to your team's success. It shows that you are invested in their development and willing to dedicate time and resources to help them thrive. This approach not only enhances individual performance, but also fosters a positive, supportive, and dynamic team culture where everyone feels valued and is empowered to achieve their best.

If you want to be more mentor-minded as a leader, start by flexing those active listening skills we discussed earlier. Set clear goals for those you mentor and provide constructive feedback and positive reinforcement. Also, draw from your own experiences to offer wisdom and advice. Finally, be patient and show understanding. Development is a process. It’s not always linear and it certainly doesn’t happen overnight.

I’ve mentioned a few important traits for a leader to achieve likability with their team – Empathy, approachability, a positive attitude, accountability, and mentorship. I’d also add flexibility, clear and open communication skills, consistency, and inspirational leadership to the mix. Frankly, it can seem overwhelming and, as you can see, it’s not always easy, but that doesn’t mean you should give up. When you are well-liked by your team, it makes everyone’s work experience easier and better, including your own. This, in turn, allows you to better serve your community. It’s so worth it, trust me.